They were...

That day,she couldn't wait...

She had a scar but she cared less

She didn't know what she was feeling

She ran like she would never fall

Through the thick crowd she swept...

Only God knew how anxious she was

She was in green 

He wore blue...

Their love drew them close

She lifted her eyes and saw Him descend....

Her heart beat without pause

She could feel blood rushing through her veins

And shyness like veil enveloped her

He sat beside her smiling slowly....

Her eyes low but bright waited for His to drift that way

Then She peeped and locked gaze with Him...

A smile escaped her lips and He smiled

They were together....

The day was long but it felt short

The sun shining and the sea at its best...

They sat looking at everything but they watched one another

Their eyes spoke more than their lips could say...

Their hearts brought them together

He stood,held out his hand

She stood, took his hand...

And the magic was there

The sky was blue,shining bright on 'er skin

Slowly,innocent strides down the shore we see

The waves beautiful,the sand free on 'er feet

Leurs coeurs en liberté...

The breeze so cold,She shivers

He gives her warmth in his embrace....

He tells her how much he has waited...

She says elle l'a attendu

They listened to beats from each's heart...

Their deaf ears to intruders...

They were locked one to one

He loved her, She was in love...

They were to be and they are...

Musings of the Heart

It beats..
It knows when I am sad..

When joy comes, it celebrates with me

I thought I could hide my pain..
But the beating is strained..
Then pleasure appears and the thudding quickens..

It has no voice
It can't speak
But it says a lot about me..

When hate invades me
Sweat patches appear on my face..
Because it knows and beats in chops..

Then I meet you..
And You meet me..
We meet us..

We are excited ..
You are in love ..
I feel loved..

It beats with rhythm..
The rhythm rushes your blood..
My face lights up

And your eyes reflect Love
For the Heart may be inaudible
But it speaks volume in its musings...

The Broken Vase

One day , I bought a vase
As I was entering my room with it, 
It fell and broke into pieces...
Sadness enveloped me like a garment..
I had taken time to save towards it

And my heart was broken for a long time..

Sometime later, I bought another one..
It was more beautiful than the first.
I handled it with so much care...
I secured a safe spot for it in the living room..
Days passed..
Weeks followed
And it was time for a cleanup in the whole house..

Oh my! The vase crushed as
I slipped and kicked its stand...
My beloved vase is broken again
And the best I did was blame myself...

Buying a new vase was erased from my plans...

Months took memories of my broken vases with them...

That day, a bright and beautiful day,
I took a walk downtown
As my croaky voice sung along with the silky voice in my earphones..

It caught my eyes...
Two steps back I took and it was right there staring at me
Well polished but mildly schemed in colour...
Its shape was unique and is still unique...

Till now, it is my vase ...
Because I now know what my vase needs..
My special Survivor Vase!!!





"You may lose several chances, you may be disappointed severally, you may lose a lot of friendships or even suffer scorn and hatred from people you least expect it from but never forget those are not reason for you to give up. It should not deter you from being the wonderful person you are. The worst you can do to yourself is breed hurt and hatred in your heart because someone treated you bad. 
It is actually time to look at the bright side of issues and know that whatever you lose is either not meant for you at all or at that moment. Every delay is meant to prepare and teach you how to handle your future successes..
So Free your mind and be Happy...As difficult as it may be, smile when you are punched in the face by negativity and the smile will grow wider when you meet the Positives"

Your Survivor Vase is just around the corner!


                                                                                    

When the "Daddy" is missing...

For a very long time, I had subscribed to the belief that our fathers do not need to be celebrated as much as our mothers, though somewhere in my heart, I knew fathers are as important as mothers.

Most of us who lose our fathers very early can attest to the fact that though our mothers do everything to make up for the absence of our fathers, there is a still some hunger for the physical presence of a father.

In my own case, there were countless times when I would ask why my father did not stay long enough for me to know how he would look when scolding me or striking my palms with a cane, when I go wrong. I would wish our dove-catching fun times together  never ended. 

The days I would sit in his laps struggling to run my fingers through his beard before he shaved it off are but memories that still linger.

After being bullied or teased by friends and classmates, I would sit quietly wishing I had my tall, strong and handsome daddy to run to with my complaint. But those wishes were never horses I could ride and with time, I started growing out of my “wishy-wishy dress”. The reality dawned on me that daddy will never come and I had better grow up.

My mother, like most widows played the role of the father so well that we (my brothers and I) forgot that there was need for a male parent and I say kudos to her for that. With time, I cared less when others talked about how wonderful their fathers were and what their fathers’ reaction would be towards something they did or did not do. I was gradually becoming a “mini” feminist. Though I had brothers, I didn’t really believe that the presence of a man was needed in running a family until my brother I was living with moved to another city. 

He was and is still my father as I usually call him “daddy”. A few days after he left, it hit me hard that a vacuum has been created and that was when the wishing began again. I realised that enjoying fatherly love is also one special feeling on its own.

Before I decided to write this post, I put together some observations I made apart from my own personal feelings about The Father Factor. From my family, my neighbours, to the street, to the bus, to the office, to church, to my friends’ homes I have gathered a lot.

 Let’s look at what the Bible says about being a Father? Going through the Bible, I would want to dwell on Ephesians 6:4, which says: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” To me, this is an all-inclusive instruction to fathers touching on the negative and the positive.

First, it warns fathers not to “provoke” their children. What does this mean?
It simply means that Fathers should not and must not foster negativity in their children though unreasonable display of authority, irresponsibility, partiality, cruelty, unexemplary habits or lifestyles and most of all, violence towards the mothers of their children. It again says that fathers should not incite negative attitudes in their children as actions usually attract reactions. Why do I say this? Fathers who usually shout at or beat up their kids mercilessly at the least misbehaviour or mistake breed some kind of hatred in the hearts of these kids. As the kid grows, he tends to either bully others or disrespect and talk back to elderly people including his father, though in a few cases too, such a child will grow up timid and have low self esteem.

Now the positive side of the Bible verse, “but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”, simply tells fathers to admonish, educate, discipline or rebuke constructively, encourage and train their children using the principles of the word of God.  Love being the ultimate should never be absent in a father’s dealings with his kids. They should patiently and objectively correct their children, when they go wayward. A father’s conduct should give cause to his children wanting to be with him and be like him (Good Role Modelling). 

For a while now, I have been paying keen attention to the relationship between fathers and their kids, especially the reaction of the kids at the sight of their fathers or when they are together. It is so interesting the different reactions I see. From the undesirable to the most adorable and lovely one, all I could do was smile.

In the world of the most adorable as I put it, some fathers would have to struggle with their kids every day before they leave home for work because the kids won’t let them out of their sight. They would scream so hard that even their fathers found it difficult to leave and when they finally step out of the house, you would see “frustration” written all over their faces. They would miss their little ones when they are out there at work.
On days when father and child get to spend time together, child would be all over daddy’s laps and ask endless questions. Some of which daddy can answer and for others, he’d have to forge answers. One can see the display of in-depth love and joy as the child flashes his or her tiny teeth with giggles and smiles. 
On the bus and in the church, daddy would let little one sit beside him and when it’s time for offertory, he would give the little one his or her share to offer. After stretching the little body in order to drop the offering in the bowl, the little one would come running happily to hug daddy’s legs.

The older ones would help daddy in fixing his bicycle or car or any faulty gadget, play games together or even argue over various issues especially, politics.  It is just a humbling sight when you see a child apologising to the parents after daddy had patiently pointed out his or her wrongdoings. This is the ideal relationship between a father and his family.

Now, in the world of the undesirable however, there is always tension as daddy won’t even want to carry child when he or she is crying. He would rather “roar” at his teenage child who asks him for some money to purchase books or tries to be inquisitive about something. 

The day this child mistakenly breaks something, his or her body will be redesigned with cane or belt marks. As for his wife, the mother of his children, she has no right to even defend her own child because she won’t be spared her own share of beatings when she just delays in making his meal ready. These fathers even hate it when their children offer to help them with something so he would not even create the atmosphere for conversations with his family. The effect of having such a father is quite obvious to us all. Either the cycle continues with their sons being bullies like them or timid and /or the daughters end up disliking men.

We do not need to allow the cycle of hatred and disrespect for fathers continue. Our men also have let go of the age old belief that:  “A man has to be ugly and fearful.” Look, being fearful as a man does not afford you any respect; neither does it make you more powerful. To me it shows weakness hiding behind the mask of wickedness. 

I therefore impress upon all men, young or old to work towards being a father to children, be it biological or not. Be the Father Factor to someone and most vices will be reduced in our society because love will be the basis of every child’s upbringing.


My understanding of who a FATHER should be is, He is: 

- a Protector
- a Shelter
- a Guide
- a Counsellor
- a Teacher
- a Role Model
- a Pillar of Strength
- the Spring of Love
and
- the Root of all Existence

If all Fathers will live to religiously and sincerely play the above roles as they were originally mandated, nobody will have any excuse not to appreciate them as they should and Fathers’ Day celebrations will attract more participation than before. 

STRIVE TO BE THE BEST FATHER GUYS....

 Much Love & Peace

Nuggets of Wisdom

• I've been up, I've been down
  I've walked, I've stood still
  I've held on, I've let go
  I've smiled, I've frowned
  I've been right, I've been wrong
  I've loved, I've hated
  I've been happy, I've been sad 
  
  
  And it's called Life...You've gotta live it the best way you can or lose it the worst way...
  There's always a way out of a seemingly bad situation...Just work around it if you can't burrow through it                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
• To get the best out of life, grab a seat, open your mind to clear thoughts and plan ahead but forget not to keep your gaze on the Lord for the best direction.

•          If everyone hates you for doing the right thing, even death will hate you and you'll live long.

•          When you decide to free your mind and heart , nothing prevents you from being happy

•         Every night, when we go to bed, we have no assurance of waking up the next morning but we still set the alarm for tomorrow....

        It's called HOPE!!!

•      In the darkest moment,let your smile show forth His Glory, for where there is life, there's HOPE

•          Once a while, we meet people we'd have loved to keep close to our hearts.They come across as very nice, ready to listen to your silly jokes,apologize unnecessarily,hold you tight when watching a scary movie,intentionally refuse to reply your calls or texts and make you laugh the loudest you could ever have but their presence in your life becomes a flash in the pan...Some good things they say never last so cherish them as they come

•          When you fight the wrong battles, you destroy the innocent...

•          When God kisses what you are doing, there is no stopping you....

•          Life is like a race of hurdles and to sail through it,focus on the finish line,gazing above all the hurdles

       

•              When you mess up your first chance,sit down and find out what you did wrong or did not do at all,then start doing them and doing them the right way....Work out your second chance

•              Life is a gift so i smile for the fact that i still have it...

•              Our lives are divided into three stages:

            *Morning for the 1st 30 yrs (0-30)

            *Afternoon for the next 30yrs (31-60)

            *Evening for next 30yrs (61-90)

            We may be blessed with the *Night as well but the Big Question is,Do we do what each stage demands?No!most of the time we don't.

            Take the 1st 30 yrs which is our preparatory stages, where we need to make decisions that will make our next stage easier and fruitful,we prefer to take all the time to have 'fun' (drink, smoke,womanise, flirt,play truancy in school, disrespect our elders,etc).

            And when we get to the next stage, we start chasing pastors to pray for us for (jobs,partners,success,good health,etc) while we could have easily avoided all these problems by building a good foundation right from the star! Let us remain faithful to the things that we must do at each stage of our lives; for when we do the Morning stuffs in the Afternoon,we delay all other subsequent stages. DON'T DELAY YOUR DESTINY FOR IT'S IN YOUR HANDS

•              When the Beauty of the Lord envelopes you, the Blessings,the favour and the Love you attract are just awesome. Crave for it.

•             Sometimes, life gives you tons of reasons to worry, but it takes a strong heart to get ahead of the game

•             Give Life a smile and it will smile back at you...

•              Bad friends delay you and rob you of the little you have. Roll with the right people; Those that add value to your life while you also serve as a great source of inspiration to them.
•  

                        T-talk extensively about issues

                        R-reach out to each other

                        U-understand each other

                        S-settle your differences

                        T-tell each other the truth ....

                Those are my elements of TRUST

•              A friend once told me: ''Do not allow anyone to determine how you feel at a particular time"

•              There are three enemies to personal peace: regret over yesterday's mistakes, ingratitude over today's blessings and anxiety over tomorrow's problems. Chase them out!

•              A new day,a new step. But take it easy friends and dont be in a haste for in haste you may miss a step and come tumbling all the way down. Watch carefully and take one step at a time with Christ as your navigator

•              When you are slow to anger, slow to speak but quick to listen, you will never faulter nor step on anyone's toes. When you do not answer insult with insult, but reply with a smile, you heep coals of fire on the head of your adversary. Control your anger for you have nothing to lose by doing so.

•              Time flies and though one tries clipping off its wings sometimes, it never slows down. Never procrastinate even if you are tempted to, Simple!

•              Never settle for less in life; Do not be a conformist but be a revolutionist; changing your life and that of others for the better.

•              My peace extends like a river and my joy overflows like a fountain of fresh spring water; I am soaked in glee.

• When you run out of rope,hang on to faith....

    

    

     ©fafa nanewortor

The Listening Heart

When my mind is in a turmoil and my heart is lowly,
My inner man worships and my lips burst forth into song

When I am angry and I want to fight, a voice speaks silently to my heart and I am calmed

When I feel like giving up, I am reminded of how far it took me to be here and the journey I still have ahead

The heart that is in tune with His Holy Spirit, easily receives from God and the feet follows in its stead

Therefore,

Quieten your mind and let your heart do the listening for there's always a message for you and me.

Joy in the Positive

"A joy handled correctly does not lead you into sadness, it abounds and stirs extra joy in others...."

*The fact that you are blessed does not mean you are better than someone who is still struggling to make it in life. 
*Being blessed is not for you to taunt others who are suffering
*It is never a licence from God to humiliate your enemies

Rather,

-It is an opportunity to praise God with what you have and what you are
-It is your green card to touch the lives of others who are in need
-It is your greatest chance to get closer to the Giver of the blessing.

You can never know where you would be in the next micro-second let alone tomorrow....

the Ultimate is LOVE!

Life - The Look in the Lens

Life is but a series of uncertainties,
A path, winding with no view of the end,
On that path, men travel falling and rising

Life, a thread of unclear sights
Through our lenses, we see nothing but the unknown
Hazier it looks as we approach the end

Life is a flow of busi-ness for nothing
But giving up is not an option
For Life, it must be lived

We face Life when it seems to be against us
And we go through the tunnels of pain
But the breezy shores of joy do not miss our footsteps

Life is Life when you live it well
When you live it, Live it to the full
For as Life begins, it will end

The Friend Online

It's been a while since I dropped by and all this while, I have been yearning to write something new but I've been tied down with some other stuff. I know I have no excuse but well, what can I do?Happy New Year to you all by the way. Better late than never.

During my break however, I have had a wide range of experiences concerning the use if the internet to make friends. I have realised that lots of people including myself become skeptical about making friends on social media. In spite of an apparent and natural connection between the two individuals, there is still that tingly feeling that the other may be pretending to be what he or she is not.

This feeling, mutual or not, is nothing far from normal and is justified because out of experience and research,  only 20 % or even less social media friendships last. Most of them are built on false identities and the falling apart begins as soon as one of the parties finds out something that seems to be a deviation from what he or she was made to believe about the other. 

Someone may want to know those things that break these initially 'perfect' friendships. If you ask me, those issues  should not really cause any trouble but humans as we are, 'little' lies, inconsistent and suspicious actions  hurt us way beyond our imagination. I gather that the reasons that cause these somewhat great friendships to fall along the wayside include:

1. False claims of affluence(personal gains, family or occupation)
2. Lies about past relationships
3. Inconsistent residential information
4. Avoidance of public meetups
5. Secret habits that are later exposed
6. Hidden negative intentions / mischief

Before we go on, lets look at what the creation of Social Media was aimed at and it is then we can continue from where we stopped. In reference to Wikipedia, Social media refers to interaction among people in which they create, share, and/or exchange information and ideas in virtual communities and networks. From my point of view, social media I believe is a platform for:

1.  Business Networking
2.  Marketing
3. Harnessing Ideas
4. Rekindling lost relationships and friendships
5. Making new friends and the list goes on and on.

Well folks back to our main topic; starting and building new friendships through social network. Let me just use a probably common situation.
 Imagine during your first meeting, your new friend tells you he or she went to one of the best Senior High Schools in the country and even goes on to say he has a very good job in a well-known establishment. A few months down the line his  or her supposed former school's anniversary launch is announced. You then ask your friend if (s)he  would attend and (s)he looks at you as if you had said something strange. You probe further and the response you get is: "what am I going to do there? I don't know anybody there." And when you remind him or her that you were made to believe (s)he was a past student , your friend then tries to play smart by either saying you weren't listening then or (s)he did not understand your question initially and then gives an excuse why (s)he cannot go.
The fact however is that these lies cannot be told forever and as petty or insignificant as the issue of school may seem, the insincerity alone injures the trust one has for the other friend.
 This leaves more questions and doubts in the mind of the friend who finds out the truth about the other.
As for the job bit, I would not want to delve into that because it can be very disheartening.

Another issue that destroys friendships developed through social media is the tendency of landing in the traps of people with very bad motives or hidden agenda in befriending you in the first place. Don't forget when I say social media, I am referring to the likes of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, BBM, Whatsapp, LinkedIn, Delicious, Badoo and the list is endless.

Some people are purposely on social media to locate victims for their robbery, sexual exploitation and in extreme cases, murder. They create a very innocent, pleasant and trustworthy personality for themselves and carefully select their victims. These people can hang around their victims  for as long as it takes the latter to be very comfortable and open to them and when the time seems right to them, they strike so hard at their victims that one would wonder if they were the same caring and fun-to-be-with persons some months or years back.

During a casual convo with a girlfriend of mine, she told me about an experience she had with someone she met on a social media. It was one story that made me know the importance of being cautious in relating to people we meet online.

She met a gentleman who seemed so caring and interested in her well being to the extent that she wondered if he was "real". She was very open-minded about their friendship; never harboring the intention of intimacy of any sort.
About a year into the friendship, he offered to assist her in her search for a job. About a week after his show of  concern he told her to bring he Curriculum Vitae (CV) to him so he could give it to someone who needed an Assistant. As close as they had grown, she did not suspect any foul play so she decided to make it a visit as well since she had never been to his place.
To cut a long story short, the guy raped her. She couldn't speak to anyone about this and nursed her pain alone. As if that wasn't enough, he began calling her everyday, threatening to upload a video of the act on the internet if she didn't turn up at his house for another round with her. He gave her deadlines and kept calling her almost every minute to remind her of the consequences of her refusal to turn up. It was a long week of mental torture for her. She battled with the idea of going as demanded by the blackmailer. But as luck may have it she decided to speak to a friend about it. Through discussion with the friend, she realized the blackmailer did not have any video after all but intended to record a video when she turned up the second time.
With this insight she decided to use what I call the "Blackmail-the-blackmailer" method to get him off her back. In the end, he stopped calling her and it was confirmed that he did not have any video after all.

It is true that she got out of this for free but the "What If" question keeps popping up in my mind.
-What if he actually had the video?
-What if he had a deadly disease?
-What if he was using that act for a ritual?
and -What if he never stopped pestering her after her counter action?
  It's for you to judge for yourselves.

I have personally had experiences with people who were just online for sexual and fraud reasons and there's no denying the fact that you my cherished reader has also had an experience with one or two of such  people with evil intent, in your journey through social media. Even if you have not experienced such, you might have heard of the deaths of people and others being defrauded as a result  of one acquaintance or the other he or she struck with someone on line.

I do not have the intention of scaring anyone but I still believe that there is another group of people on social media who use the platform for responsible and genuine activities like advertising their businesses, linking up with old and long lost friends, striking solid and profitable business acquaintances, building genuine love relationships and most importantly share ideas and learn new ideas. This group has however been overshadowed by the bad ones.

You may in some cases meet some really cool and genuine people who would cause you to keep asking yourself whether you really met them online. For me, some are a blessing and I won't trade their friendship for anything. Each and every passing day, they bring a new sensation into the friendship especially after a misunderstanding of some sort and till now I get confused about how and where I first met them.

My dear friends, making friends online is not bad, but motives and intents differ from one to another. The best you can do to keep out of trouble is to take care and make sure your friendships are healthy ones. As much as you are being open-minded, be smart and never take things for granted. Let your friends know their limits and don't make friends for the wrong reasons.

Use the Social Media wisely. See you all soon